It's about time

So I figured it was about time for me to update my blog, since I hadn't done so since January. A LOT has been going on around here, as usual. Some of it good, some of it bad, but with God's guidance, we will make it through. I won't bore you with all the gory details, but the short and long of it is that Kalin and I hit a very rough patch about 2 months or so ago. We are working things out, but, as with all things, it's going to take time to heal the wounds that were caused. I will admit that most of those wounds were my doing, and I take full responsibility for them. If I could rewind the clock, I most certainly would, and I would listen to my peers and those who knew what I was doing was wrong instead of ignoring them and continuing on my own stupid, stubborn, naive path. I realize now that I had many misconceptions about what love, commitment, devotion, trust, faith, patience, and dependability were because of the way I was raised. I am re-learned those concepts, along with MANY others, in order to make myself a better person, and to help create a better life for my husband and my two children.

But on to lighter topics. Yesterday was the 4th of July, and for the first time in many years, I didn't see any fireworks. We shot some of our own off a few days before, and some more the day before, but I didn't actually watch a fireworks show this year. Micah stayed at my mother's house the night they did the fireworks in Seguin so that he could stay up and watch them. Elijah stayed at my mother-in-law's house, and Kalin and I went out to watch the UFC fight with some friends. We had a BLAST, even though the guy we were rooting for in the main fight lost. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard.

Micah is going to be 4 years old in less than a month. He will be starting pre-kindergarten this fall. Part of me is so excited for him, but the other part of me is realizing that he is no longer my little baby. He's getting so big, and he's starting to figure things out on his own. He's stuck in that stage where part of him wants to be independent and do everything himself, but the other part of him wants to cling to mommy for support and attention. It's so tough on him because sometimes he gets so frustrated trying to decide whether he wants to do it all on his own or if he wants help. It's tough on me, too, because there are many times where I don't think he can do something all by himself and I want to help him, and he tells me that he can do it and he doesn't want my help. Pretty soon, he won't need or want me around to help him.

I cleaned out the boy's closet the other day. I pulled out all Micah's old 24 month/2T clothing for Elijah to wear. It was so weird putting the clothes that Micah wore just last year into Elijah's half of the closet. It's even weirder watching Elijah walk around in Micah's old clothes. Then I had to get rid of all Elijah's old clothes, because we don't plan on having any more kids any time soon. That was so hard - to just throw out all those clothes that we had such wonderful memories in. I know that part is always hard, and I try to prepare myself for it, but it just hit me hard that day. Neither one of my boys are technically babies anymore...

Kalin and I will be celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary this year. As I was cleaning out some of our old boxes that haven't been unpacked in 5 years, I ran across my day planner from the year we got married. It had all sorts of stuff in it that brought up memories that had long been buried under all the stresses of daily life.

Kalin is looking into getting a new job that will pay better and will have better hours. I am also in search of a job or two that will contribute something to this family. My student loan is coming due this month, and we have about $4000 in debt that we have to start paying off asap, so I need to find something and quick, but I am having difficulties finding one job that would cover the day-care costs for both kids. Which is why I am preparing myself to work on full time job and another part time or full time job to help cover daycare and bring something home.

I am preparing to have a garage/yard sale, so if anyone has anything they would like to sell, let me know! The more stuff we have to sell, the more people will buy. We are also getting ready to sell our Arowana and the 55 gallon tank he is in. He really needs a 150 gallon tank, but for now, he's ok. We will be selling the entire setup including tank, hood, filter, plants, gravel, stand air pump and plecostomus that shares the tank with him. If you're interested, please let me know.

Also, we are still desperately searching for homes for our last 2 bloodhound/redbone puppies and their mother. The mommy, Kahlua, is almost 2 years old, and the puppies are 10 months old. We have one male and one female left, and we are only asking $50 each for them. They are beautiful dogs, and will make wonderful hunting dogs. They are very energetic, will grow to be rather large, and will need a large area to run and play. They get along fairly well with kids, although they are still too rambunctious for the little ones. If you or anyone you know is interested in one of them, please let me know.

That's about it for now. I will be updating this more often nowadays. Thanks for reading! :D