Dating

Continuing with the theme I started yesterday, I would like to talk about the topic of Dating.

A date is "a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person".  Another definition is "to assign a time".  Dating seems to be a bit anti-personal, doesn't it?

Honestly, I'm not a big fan of dating.  Dating, in essence, sets you up for divorce.  For example, let's say you're dating Guy A, (and by dating, I mean setting aside some time to meet with him), but then Guy B comes along and he seems so much nicer than Guy A.  So you break up with Guy A for Guy B.  But then, Guy B isn't really as nice as he originally seemed, so you break up with him to look for something better.  If you're dating, then you will more than likely do this a number of times before finally finding a guy that you feel like you can spend the rest of your life with.  But the problem is that you have gotten into the habit of dumping a guy (or being dumped) when things aren't perfect, so when you do find a guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's really easy to just "dump" him (divorce him) and go find something better.  But God has intended marriage to be forever - thus the "for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" NOT "only when we have money to pay all the bills, only you're in good health and we have no medical bills to pay, and only until I get tired of you and your habits that I originally fell in love with but that will eventually get on my last nerve".

So, instead of dating, I offer "courting".  To Court someone means to "try to win the favor, preference or goodwill of; to seek the affections of, woo; to attempt to gain (applause, favor, etc); to invite; to seek another's love, woo".  Another definition is "to fawn over, and pay attention to".

Courting involves not just spending time with someone, but getting to know them.  Courting, I think, should be done in groups - like going on double dates with other couples who are courting.  That way, you aren't alone with a guy in a situation where he might take advantage of you.  Courting is more enduring than dating.  It's the period in a relationship when the couple decides whether or not there will be an engagement and marriage.  Since God designed marriage to be a forever type deal, I believe courting is the more Godly way of finding your mate.  You begin the relationship looking for your future spouse, not just someone to pass the time with.   Dating tends to leave a lot of space and time for future regrets, whereas courting involves waiting until after marriage to share a bed, among other things.

So which will you choose? Dating - where you will spend a lot of time along with a guy, where he has the time and the privacy to try to take advantage of you, and where you will train yourself for divorce later in life; or courting - where you will spend a lot of time with a guy in a group where he won't be able to take advantage of you and where you will train yourself to have a successful marriage and learn how to work through your problems instead of just throwing the towel in like in dating? 

Until next time - Take time to learn something new everyday - no matter how small. :)