What is Love?

Since today is Valentine's Day, I thought it fitting that I write a blog on Love. 

So what is love? Is love what makes the world go 'round? Is love all you need? Is loving a movie equal to loving your spouse?  Is love just a feeling? Is love a myth?  Is love the one thing everyone is searching for and only the lucky few ever find? Is love remembering to order roses for your wife on her birthday, your anniversary and Valentine's Day?  Is love showering your spouse with expensive gifts, sparing no expense to make him/her happy? Or is love picking a wildflower from the side of the road and bringing it home to your wife for no particular reason? Maybe it's doing the dishes so your spouse doesn't have to, or running your wife a hot bubble bath after a hard day.

Every person has their own definition of what love is - for some its the bouquet of flowers from their husband for no reason, for others its the flutter in their heart they get when they see the person of their affection.  Some people believe that finding love is the ultimate goal in life, and that very few people ever find it.  Others believe love is an urban myth - that we never really find love, but we choose to settle down with the best candidate we find so we can procreate.

But I believe that love is more than a feeling - love is a choice.  Granted, when you fall in love with someone, you don't get to choose who that person is, so at first love is a feeling.  You get those butterflies in your stomach when you see that person, or hear that person's voice.  But when you make the commitment to spend the rest of your life with that person, there will be days when you don't feel the love, but you still choose to love them because you have made a promise to love, honor and cherish that person until "death do you part". 

One of the most well-known verses in the bible is John 3:16.  It reads, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  Verse 17 continues, "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him."  These verses are the epitome of love - unconditional, unfailing and never changing.  God gave his only son, Jesus, so that we would not perish in our sin but that we would be saved and be given the opportunity to spend eternity in Heaven with Him.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, we find this: "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."  I think these verses say it all.  Love is not just a feeling you get.  Love is not just receiving gifts.  Love means giving and giving without expecting anything in return.

On the other hand, love does not mean it will always be easy to do the above things. If you ask any couple who has been married for any length of time, they will all tell you that it wasn't always easy.  But the older couples who have been married upwards of 40 years will also tell you that it's how you handle the hard times that defines your love.  If you pick up and run when things get tough, your love wasn't quite right.  If things get tough and you stick by your spouse's side and work through it together, then you've got the idea.


This concept doesn't just apply to your marriage, although your marriage is the most important relationship in your life.  This kind of love can be put into practice in your friendships, your relationships with your parents, your children, and everyone around you, even people you don't know.  You can show everyone love, even if you have never even seem them before.  Letting someone out in a crowded parking lot, letting someone with just a few items in the grocery store go before you when you have a full basket, buying a homeless person something to eat, and holding the door open at a restaurant are all ways that you can show love to people.

So today, take the time to show someone love, take the time to tell your loved ones that you love them, and take the time to love yourself.